Friday was My Grandmother's birthday. I new this, but when I saw my sisters blog about her I decided to make my own tribute to this woman, whom I wish with all my heart was still here.
My grandmother was such a loving person I could write all day and still have things to say about her. I love the memories of Sunday evenings at her home, playing capture the flag with cousins in the backyard. I love remembering the trips to the grocery store where she would buy you the biggest bag of candy there. I really loved the fact that she could make you feel like her only grandchild, even when there were dozens. I love to wear the diamond necklace she gave me when I was 15 on special occasions.
I wish she could have met Paul.
I wish she could have met Gavin, even though she probably did in heaven.
But most of all I wish she were here to talk to about the many heart aches I have had in losing babies and not getting pregnant. She is the only one in my family that knows how I feel, since she had all the same problems and more. I love my mom and my sister with all their love and support, but it is hard to talk to people who have no concept of how you feel. My grandma lost two babies after they were born, experienced many failed pregnancies and the heart ache of not being able to get pregnant when she desired it, and still she had such unshakable faith. Whenever I need a little boost I will read her words in her memory book, so that I can feel her testimony. I never thought I could miss her more every year she is gone and I can not wait to see her again.
2 comments:
I am so glad you have her journal to read. I know what you mean by family not understanding problems with pregnancy! I hope and pray that your family will grow and know that you are both wonderful parents! Good Luck and keep in touch!
What a blessing to have her memory book. I would love to go back and read things like that. I'm glad that you have these memories of her and that she is such an example of strength for you! Love ya!
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