I have had difficulty getting pregnant and staying pregnant over the last several years. I will spend months trying to get pregnant and then when I do I spend months trying to stay pregnant. With each pregnancy I try to not let myself get too attached (ya right!) because I do not know if it will last. Even with my two pregnancies that were successful I spend a good portion of each day silently praying that the babies heart is still beating. When I being to feel movement I then panic if I do not feel something at least once every half hour. So to say the least I am pretty stressed out for 9 months straight.
Then with the blessing of a loving Heavenly Father I get to take guardianship of a beautiful and precious soul. I am still in aw of the two wonderful gifts the Lord has given me and thank Him each day for them.
But once that 9 months is over, one would think the stress would cut back a little. No, not even a little. Last night Sidney slept for 9 hours straight. When I woke up and realized what time it was I freaked. I ran to her room and felt for that breath of life and of course it was still there. I automatically said a prayer thanking my Heavenly Father, that she was still with me. Then of course I could not take it and I woke her up to feed her. Once this was complete I then proceeded to Gavin's room to make sure he is still breathing and of course he was.
I know that it will never stop. And it will only get worse when they get older and are no longer with me for every minute of everyday. All I can do is say a prayer and check for that breath of like.
Because they are still with me.
5 years ago
4 comments:
so sweet. i keep checking, too. even the big ones :) you are a great mom and so sweet to recognize the miracles. xoxo
ps... i got here before julz! miracle!
She is so chubby. Such a cutie.
I'm so like that. I'm always running to check on my boys to make sure they're okay. Even when Thomas tells me they're fine, I like to know for myself. =)
I just love your kids!
Awww, this is so sweet Jenny. I'm so happy I found your blog! I'm sure all that waiting and disappointment you went through has made you appreciate your children that much more. I know I will be way overprotective with my kids...I'm already kind of obsessive with my dog! haha
Btw, you did AWESOME today with leading the Primary children!! I wanted to run up to you and give you a big hug afterward! I loved how they all were watching you so carefully and looking for your leadership. And you did WONDERFUL! Thanks for being so awesome. Happy Mom's/Woman's Day to you!
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